Photo spam II

Dear diary

Today was a bad day. I wish you'd turn around and hug me instead of turning your back on me. I was, as usual, being irritating to you but you just lose your patience so much easily than i ever remember. I tried to comfort myself but hugging you but all that returned was "go away" and pushing me away. I thought you wanted me around. I thought i could make you feel better. I thought i could make things better by keeping everything down. Where did you go? Please come back. Please. 

So hard

When someone occupies so much space in you and they leave, you'll be left so vacant you dont know what to do. 

Did someone took away my soul when i was asleep? I feel so empty. 

You promised me you'll be nice. But everytime something happens, it'll end up being my fault again. What happened to promises? 

You dont know the pain you've caused, because you're not the one carrying the hurt.

Why? I keep asking myself why? Why dont i deserve to be loved and pampered like everyone else? Why must i always be rational and sane? Why cant i have tantrums too? Why cant you love me as i am?

Mind's a whirl and i really miss the person who'll hug and console me when things go wrong. Please stop hurting. Please. 

I dont know what to feel. I dont know who to talk to. It just feels like i have no one. But its fine i guess. 我真的累了。everything is just so bad and against me i really cannot take it anymore. Good night world. I forgot the feeling of loving someone and being loved back. It must have been such a precious feeling. 

Photo spam

My past few weeks!

I want a camera cause i love taking photos and i really am happy when i look through all these weird snaps i take with my phone. Memories documented in the most visual form ever. Here goes:

I like

I like how you tell me i am in your dreams. Cause even when youre sleeping, you have a space for me somewhere in there :,)

I love you

Cause i can feel that you love me with all of you

Not just the way you talk, but the way you act with me too

Thank you for you. How lucky i am, to be in your arms. 

I love you not just because you know i dont like to brush my teeth at night but you'll still kiss me goodnight (and you hate that i have pretty teeth though you take more care of yours)

I love you not just because i can wear any ugly clothes to a simple movie night with you without feeling uncomfortable

I love you not just because you let me fart in your presence. Though you do hate it a lot. But i love to annoy you

I love you cause you know how much i love to eat strawberries and eat yogurt and drink weird healthy juice and my exact preference of milk. I like it when people know what i like. I like it when you dont assume when you dont know. I like it that you're so helpless when you see me upset or unhappy

I love you 😅

I can go on and on and on but it'll be so mushy and long winded everyone else will just fall asleep. 

So here's my little guy and me: