Nuffnang

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Supposed

A day which i am supposed to be the most happy, but somehow all the expectations and stress is making me feel so weighed down and annoyed. 

I just want to say that people who needs your explanation are people who wont understand you. And people who understand you wont even ask for any explanation. 

The more you try to justify yourself to people who dont understand, they either just wont ever understand, or they will end up misunderstanding more. 

Tired of all the bullshit. Sometimes i think - isnt this person very money minded for doing this and this? But then again, i'm the one putting my mind on the money, thereby feeling this way - and aren't i the money minded one then?

Its hard to put a finger down to how much i want to draw the line. But all i want is... to be happy. 

But the more i try, the more i cant. 

Sigh. 

Monday, August 1, 2016

Work

Theres this very thin line between knowing what is right for you, and being a total self entitled jackass. 

My job made me realise this. 

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Late nights

We cannot choose who we love, but we can choose how we love them

I still miss you very much
And although i might not have made a lot of sound choices in my life, i believe it was the sanest at that time. 

I cannot promise us a good future. 
Nor could we even had a comfortable life and there might be a lot of struggle. 
So i chose to love you by letting you go. 

Just because we are not together now, it does not mean i dont love you anymore. 
You will ALWAYS hold a place in my heart. 

Till the day i dont exist anymore. 
I miss you so much. 

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Broken

Sick - not because i want to. Not because i choose to. Not because i caused it. 

But you said it. You said i can leave with whoever i think will treat me better. Thats when i know i will never have you back. Thats when i know i will never have someone who will love me fully. 

Love is cheap. So is life. 

Feeling really sad these days thinking about work, and everything else. 

These thoughts come back haunting me again whenever im sad. They never leave. They keep telling me that if im gone, all these pain and struggles will be too. 

Sometimes they tell me i deserve to be gone. Like how i made him gone. Like life is easily trampled upon. Like no one values him. And there is never a day i can feel whole again. Anymore. 

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Jaded

Sometimes im tired

Its not the kind of tired when you can take a nap, or fall asleep and you'll not feel tired anymore. 

Its the kind of tired, where you have no more of yourself left in your body. 

No more.