Too late (and maybe too little)

Everybody knows
That I was such a fool
To ever let go of you
But baby, I was wrong
And yeah, I know I said
We'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart
I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby, here I am

Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

I know you're in there
You can make me wait
But I'm not going to wait
It's the least that I can do
Just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself (lying to myself)
Now I'm dying in this hell (dying in this hell)
Girl, I know you're mad
I can't blame you for being mad
But baby, here I am

Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And now I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in? (let me in)
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

If you could see these tears I'm crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You would see a different man
But baby, here I am

Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in? (let me in)
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you (yeah)
Now I'm crawling back to you (crawling back to you)
Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)

////////////
You've said your piece,
I can never say mine after hearing yours.

Naitnait, broken hearts & swollen eyes.

Eventful!

Dear blogger,

Today was an eventful day.

Woke up an hour late, rushed to work and clocked in at 8:30 sharp. Did not bathe, but hair turned out rather well. And it's a good hair day! Created an instagram account and uploaded my first picture (below for your reference). Admired myself in that picture cause I think my teeth is so straight and white. No braces yo. Lunch at our usual favourite place and 大中国 egg tarts and back to work. Bonus amount was rumoured. Looked for nail polish to buy. Bought the magnetic one! And some colours that are classic. Went to school and listen to the lecturer talk about things I already know. Hope I am not too complacent uh. Someone bought cakes for me. And a classmate. Take a bus home from school. Took a bus, missed the stop. Went opposite side to take boarded the bus, and missed my stop again!?!? Finally alighted at the right stop while taking the third bus, spend most! Then back home. Bathed and supposed to meet the gang. But decided it was too tiring so they asked me to stay home.

And ...
I experienced the machine.
After weeks of wax and strips, it has finally gained enough rigour to go under the merciless metal gears that grind through the skin. Bit by bit, I was so close to completing the whole course. But alas, my capillary broke. The machine was stained with blood. The same blood then stained my fingers. So scared I had to stop! Painful, but gratifying as well. So I suppose I'm back to using the machine for long. Hurts just a little. We should all be stronger. "Hurt? Bah, what's that!?" hahaa.

Then thought about things like if I am really reach, I won't ever do my own eyebrows again. I'll have a beautician who helps me with my routine. Have to clean and wax my legs, do facial for me. Manicure and pedicure all that also must know la.

Dream? Yeah man. Why not?

To dwell

To even think of what happened in the past just shows how much of a loser are you. How you've failed to carry on and how you're trying so hard to make yourself look better but in fact you're not.

With Alex, I'm safe to say we're both losers. And I can't stop talking about the things he did to me so I'd find reasons to hate him, which in fact I don't. I just feel really guilty and at times, I am convinced that I'm the wilful one. But of course, main thing is that we didn't work out.
For him, I believe it wasn't easy either. But well he's living the life he wants and definitely showing people how he can be a useful person as well :D someone seeking to improve himself and always looking at things on a deeper level. Even helping me out as a friend, be my listening ear and the burning torch in my darkest nights. Girls, throw yourself at him already!

Can't say so for others. Elijah was asking me about the recent happenings the other day. So where do I file all these failed relationships. Hahaha he damn lame cause he classify my ex boyfriends. "this case sounds similar to the xxxx" hahaha. It's amazing how XM, Elijah and I have been together since 04. That's 8 years, bro. Saw me grow up, broke down, and mostly, mature. They mean so much! Heart heart :)

I don't actually talk about people who don't matter anyway. Yea, I have someone in mind right now, cause I think someone shamelessly thinks I'm dwelling on it. Hahahaha and how embarrassing it is to jump into a pot of anger and judge so quickly. So they were talking to me about changing my job and possibly find a place which pays me reasonably. Cause I have experience and better qualifications already, and the people aren't exactly treasuring me. Why do I have so much work I don't even feel like I'm working? I'm slogging. For miserable returns.

Meh. Tata!

debris

just like debris left on a filter.

out of place, and probably uncomfortable too.
probably still cant accept how you don't want me anymore.

really?

kit teung, mak mak.

There comes a day

When I thought I was having fun. Meeting new people, visiting places, trying out new adventures (bungee jumped!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

But there's always this unexplainable emptiness. The place you used to stay cause you've never left. Never really left that is. Cause I was trying to find a place for you to stay, and I found it. Now like a weird. A very weird.

I don't even know if I'm drunk hahaha of course I'm not cause I didn't drink! But yeah. Miss you so. Truth be told once, truth be told twice, truth be told umpteenth times. You're never replaceable unlike how you think you are. Just don't know what makes you think that way all the time.

So here I am. Perfectly lonely. Night night.

be afraid

because finally i met someone who does more princely things than ever.

-open the car door for me
-holds my chin and look into my eyes
-brings tissue?!!?!?!?!?! in his pocket?!?!!?!?!?!?!?
-picks me up from school. parked his car and walked out to fetch me.

wai so sweet?
but honestly, faith in boyhood is not restored.
be sweet all you want, cause i enjoy it.
but never am i gonna be blinded.
wont let anyone close enough to hurt me.
okay this sounds gay but i do miss you already /shyshy