Monday, August 1, 2016


Theres this very thin line between knowing what is right for you, and being a total self entitled jackass. 

My job made me realise this. 

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Late nights

We cannot choose who we love, but we can choose how we love them

I still miss you very much
And although i might not have made a lot of sound choices in my life, i believe it was the sanest at that time. 

I cannot promise us a good future. 
Nor could we even had a comfortable life and there might be a lot of struggle. 
So i chose to love you by letting you go. 

Just because we are not together now, it does not mean i dont love you anymore. 
You will ALWAYS hold a place in my heart. 

Till the day i dont exist anymore. 
I miss you so much. 

Thursday, June 9, 2016


Sick - not because i want to. Not because i choose to. Not because i caused it. 

But you said it. You said i can leave with whoever i think will treat me better. Thats when i know i will never have you back. Thats when i know i will never have someone who will love me fully. 

Love is cheap. So is life. 

Feeling really sad these days thinking about work, and everything else. 

These thoughts come back haunting me again whenever im sad. They never leave. They keep telling me that if im gone, all these pain and struggles will be too. 

Sometimes they tell me i deserve to be gone. Like how i made him gone. Like life is easily trampled upon. Like no one values him. And there is never a day i can feel whole again. Anymore. 

Sunday, April 10, 2016


Sometimes im tired

Its not the kind of tired when you can take a nap, or fall asleep and you'll not feel tired anymore. 

Its the kind of tired, where you have no more of yourself left in your body. 

No more. 

Monday, March 21, 2016


Skies little bit bluer today
Mood's little bit gloomier today

Feeling sad :(
But without a little rain, we wont have the rainbows isnt it?

Friday, March 11, 2016

Sunday, March 6, 2016


Want to cry all the time

Not appreciated



I guess when you miss someone a lot, you tend to expect the same
But when someone is having fun without you, you become dispensible 

About right. 

Spent the day looking and planning for things we can do, see, go, have fun. 
Looking at possible ways to help with your back pain. Reading up. Learning more. 

Be understanding that you're tired. 
Not be annoying when a conversation leads nowhere. 
Who likes a conversation when you are the only party asking questions all the time and the response you get are likw reading an interview?

I'll just learn to fade away and not be so vested anymore. 
So different. So distant. So heart breaking. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016


T-1.5months to Japan

Every time i see pictures of japan in its glorious ways, be it food, nature, touristy traps, my heart swells with so much pride and happiness. 

I think i will cry a lot when i go there. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Little steps

I saved 2 snails today. 
I got 2 verbal compliments today. 

Hehe baby steps huishi

You will!

Thursday, January 28, 2016


Sorry i misused your love

My parents treat me better than they treat themselves and yet all i do is demand for more. 
All the time. 

Heart so broken knowing how bad a person i am

Sunday, January 17, 2016



Realised how much my heart hurts when i see you in pain :(

And realised i am a haemophobe. For real. Sigh #weak