Smile

Bubbles

2012-02-01T07:52:00.001+08:00

All my thoughts bubbling up (and sometimes back down). Day in day out I always tell myself to share it w that person, but whenever we're talking within that limited time frame, all these unhappiness goes away. Only for them to come back haunting me when I'm all by myself. Not cool bro.

He's like a dark chocolate coated marshmallow w a surprise centre. Not telling you guys why! Makes me smile just by thinking about it :))))))))

L❤

**********

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one

***********+
Cause every song reminds me of you.

Say hey!

2012-01-27T23:43:00.001+08:00

Hey babyboy.

Boys who dress smart. Boys who smell nice. Boys who notice what you did to look different that day. Boys who hold you face as they kiss you. Boys who wink. Boys who wipe your tears when you cry. Boys who'd not hesitate to smile at your ability to embarrass yourself. Boys who has onion head! Boys who pout. Boys who don't hesitate to bear hug. Boys who'd insist on every damn thing. Boys who'd not give in to you. Boys who secretly like you whining. Boys who're afraid to see you cry. Boys who feel messed up when you cry. Boys who knows what you like to eat. Boys who get you your favourite snack just because. Boys who smell your hair. Boys who secretly hug you whenever there's a millisecond to do so. Boys who are completely smitten with you. Boys who'd eat whatever crap you cook. Boys who don't forget to respect you in all honesty. Boys who knows words hurt more than sticks and stones. Boys who are sensitive. Boys who cook. Boys who wanna look at you all day and just smile. Boys who wanna get surgically attached to you. Boys who love you just because. Boys who get jealous over the slightest little things. Boys who are strong. Boys who behave like men. Boys who are clean. Boys who'd write you a love song. Boys who'd write a long list of lovely things about you, for you. Boys who never stop thinking about you. Boys who'd give up everything else just to be with you. Boys who'd never let you feel lonely. Boys who'd never allow you to be alone. Boys who whisper love in your ears. Boys who surprise you. Boys who'd go hungry to save up and get both of you some happiness. Boys who'd see you all the way to your door step. Boys who buy you panties. Boys who aren't afraid of people laughing at them. Boys who'd carry all your groceries. Boys who will never carry your hand bag. Boys who have big hands. Boys who have nice eye lashes. Boys who hug you when you sleep. Boys who bring their sweater out when they go on a movie date with you. Boys who bother to dress up just for you. Boys who wanna make sure you feel like a million dollars all the time. Boys who'd notice you're not you. Boys who wanna spend every waking moment with you. Boys who wanna spend every sleeping moment with you. Boys who'd never let you feel awkward about yourself. Boys who never leave you hanging. Boys who are shy. Boys who eat all the things you can never finish. Boys who open your can drinks for you. Boys who get the door for you. Boys who open the car door for you. Boys who tie your shoe laces for you. Boys who tie your any sort of ribbon for you. Boys who are willing to watch Barbie's Chronicles with you just to see you smile yourself silly. Boys who will buy breakfast for you before you wake up. Boys who never complain having to pick you up or send you home. Boys who think of you when someone ask them "so how is she?" boys who can never stop comparing you to every other female soul. Boys who give you back rubs. Boys who massage your feet. Boys who secretly plan for rendezvous. Boys who carry you. Boys who piggy back you. Boys who pause their game just to talk to you. Boys who secretly like you to steal glimpses at them. Boys who love collecting watches. Boys who are neat. Boys who never seem to get enough of you. Boys who wants you so bad they'd walk the world just to see you for that second. Boys who get worried over your safety. Boys who hug you so tightly you can barely breathe. Boys who tickle you. Boy who tell you you're adorable. Boys who wear pretty undergarments. Boys who don't mind helping you pick out your outfit of the day. Boys who wanna be part of your life. Boys who wanna stand up for you. Boys who'd always side you. Boys who help you drink up. Boys who lends you their clothes. Boys who will never allow you to be sad. Boys who gets you something you forgotten to get for yourself. Boys who wanna matter to you. Boys who hug you when all you wanna do is to cry. Boys who let you cry on their shoulders. Boys who allow you to hug him in movies. Boys who hold your hands and never wanna let go. Boys who treat you like their own. Boys who left piece of themselves in your soul. Boys who behave just like you. Boys who bare their souls to you. Boys who are so cute you'd fap. Boys who are serious. Boys who get angry at people staring at you. Boys who caress you lovingly. Boys who cuddle. Boys who love to tease you. Boys who everyone wants a piece of.

Boys.

Boys who will never exist.
Boys whom you'd love so much it hurts.
Boys who still love you after seeing your worst.

Boys.

Really?

2012-01-27T01:45:00.001+08:00

All these thoughts they devour me. They eat me up from the inside. They keep me up on my sleepless nights.

I feel that I can try try try but I will never hold a candle to, and you'd never allow anyone else to. Somehow it just doesn't make perfect sense, but at the same time it does.

Jealousy? Yearn?

I can go on forever. Thinking about the seemingly endless chain of possibilities and they all only end up in one lost cause. The same one, over and over again. I don't wanna implement, and I think it is unfair.

Can I ever stop this questioning? Please make me stop.

le smile

2012-01-25T08:02:00.002+08:00

cause i'm so glad you're here. sososososososo glad.
i'd do anything it takes just to be with you a little longer :)
to inhale the same air particles, to look at your ever swollen eyes, to feel my heart smile :)

lublub!

HAPZ new year

2012-01-24T17:22:00.001+08:00

Huat ah!

Ü

2012-01-20T16:30:00.001+08:00

Always smile. Cause no matter how hard it is to face something, you'd eventually have to deal with it. Happiness is a choice.

This little boy here is so adorable! He slapped my head cause I wanted to bite his finger. Playfully of course. He exclaimed NONONONONONONO before slapping me. How cute!

Poor sense of direction

2012-01-17T21:45:00.001+08:00

Don't you hate it when you see a bus, you board it, and you alight and then realise you're totally nowhere to be found?

Listening to ol' school Soulja Boys and thinking about how to get home from this place I've managed to arrive at without knowing how. Anyway, here's my new phone cover!

****

One week later (today, 17th Jan!)! Learnt some directions and got around. Realised that the entry was saved as a draft and not published. So imma add on!

Back to driving yesterday. Felt like I can never forget how to drive. Just a little reckless. Sorry but I love speeding. Hahahaha the G Force, baby. It makes you wanna jizz in your pants and shriek your lungs out.

And these few days I choose to believe I'm pretty! I mean .... It's not all year round I get people staring into my face/eyes in particular and stone. And then explain "Huishi you so pretty!" hahahaha self high but TRUE STORY BRO. perhaps just the happy hormones/radiance from being so madly in love. Hello boyfriend :)

The awkward moment when I just wanna type hehehehe when I talk about you. HeheheheheheHeheheheheheHeheheheheheHeheheheheheHeheheheheheHeheheheheheHeheheheheheHehehehehehe. :)

Scare you

2012-01-16T19:56:00.001+08:00

I'm not one bit ashamed of who I am. I feel that I worked hard for who I am today. My grades aren't that bad, just that I can't really afford full time studies.

Sometimes I'd question myself. Why is it that everyone else is living comfortably while I've to "suffer" at work and live from hand to mouth, pay pay check after pay check. I've to think twice, thrice and all day long to convince myself to get something before I really do. Sometimes I've to convince myself to dislike something I really like!

But again, what's so bad about that? Have you tried paying through your own life? I feel that I'm not doing enough. I'm paying for school, bills and driving, and I feel that I must earn more so I can give some to my family too. I believe my dad/mum didn't want to be selfish when it comes to spending on us. That explains the spoilt beat I secretly am, maybe.

The "high" I get when my boss's boss says he respect me for what I do. But in the same sharing session, he said my attitude sucks. Hahaha first time, yo. 'cause my personality is who I am, and my attitude depends on who you are :) If my attitude sucks, it probably reflects on how I think about you .............get the drift?

Being the disgustingly narcissistic optimist I am, I choose to believe: the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees. And, with every storm comes a rainbow (whether you see it or not is another thing altogether).

Take advantage of my good mood! It's not often that I will wanna write such motivational stuff k. You think I give a fuck about you? Hahaha no. Just stay focused with your life and move forward, cause with every step you take, you're paving out a new adventure. Yeah, scary, but once you get through that, you'd be so proud to say you've "been there, done that"!

Not too bad, quite a long entry. Haha. One last point.

"if you're just using this as a bridge, why not clock good mileage at the same time?"

Brimming

2012-01-10T08:08:00.001+08:00

Now all work and studies and moonlighting activities are brimming me up. I mean I don't have to do this, but since I chose this then I'd have to stick thru it yes?

Soon I'd be brimming w money instead. HEHE

Magic on the lips

2012-01-09T01:48:00.001+08:00

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
I'll wear those shoes and you will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me, out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand,
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling,
So kiss me.
Kiss me, down by the broken tree house
Swing me, upon it's hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Oh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilight
Lead me, out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling,
So kiss me

Kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling (x2)
Oh so kiss me
So kiss me
So kiss me
So kiss me

////////

You're taking up more space than I can give. It scares me a little, but it's the good kind. It makes the muscle in my chest go lub dub x9999 faster. Oooo so that's obsession?

Fair enough

2012-01-07T15:44:00.001+08:00

So 2012 had been rather fast moving! Poof, one week zoomed past. Faster than I would have expected.

Welcomed something new, lost a bit of weight (what do you expect if I have the ability to fall sick every weekend), gotten keys to a different house, marked my territory elsewhere and feeling really sure about my life in a few years' time.

Did I also mention I've learnt how to sleep beyond my natural "wake up" time? I woke up at 1130 today! (achievement unlocked). Hahaha. For someone who naturally wakes up at 730 sharp every single day, I'm feeling rather lost. I did wake up at 730 again, just that I manage to fall asleep again w a warm loaf of bolster in my arms. Sorry to flatten!

School's starting soon. 14th I'd have my orientation. And it'd probably start during the week of lunar Chinese new year. Another year has gone ........and this is the only year I managed to keep my ang pow money and not touch it! Well I'm spending it now cause I'm kinda broke too, but at least I kept it for a good long year!

Dear you, you leave me so intrigued all the time. Right now I'd wanna hold your moist palms and kiss you all day. <3 sounds sick but yea. Hahaha. See you later! X

Pup!

2012-01-04T15:26:00.001+08:00

When I have the ability to, I'd wanna raise my own pet. Right from his birth till he leaves me. Just like L and H! But of course they won't be gone so soon. Just moving house in about 3 years. To my sister's new house!

Gonna miss telling them stories and their sleepy faces. Oh, my habit? Preventing them from sleeping when I can't sleep as well. Hehe no choice!

Now I miss L and H already. Damn! 2.5 more hours till work ends. Can't wait man, can't wait.

Fail

2012-01-03T22:52:00.001+08:00

Do not attempt to date attached girls.

Never thought I would

2012-01-02T18:02:00.000+08:00

feel this way, do such things, have such thoughts.

If you're scared, I'd wait for the fear to go away.
If you're unsure, I'd wait for you to be certain.

If only you knew.

we'd see how long it takes!
XOXO

Questions

2012-01-02T03:20:00.001+08:00

So many questions bubbling up and I can't even tell if I'm angry or sad. Or both. Probably more of sad and self pity.

All that I've said, I meant it. And it's disgusting for me to share things with people. Cause I'm always afraid of the "judgement" thing. So while thinking back, it took some bravery and stupidity to allow myself to sink into something else so soon. Probably even without confirming things.

Taadaa! Same story, different person. You're broken again. Have fun with yourself and hope you have already learnt your lesson! Wake the fuck up, girl. You don't deserve anyone.

You make me feel

2011-12-30T21:02:00.001+08:00

Like the most precious thing ever. And I love the feeling.

2011

2011-12-29T01:09:00.001+08:00

This year was (is?) fleeting. Blink blink, I've confirmed my place in school next year, worked for Mercedes Benz for a year, funded for someone else to go on a trip w me using my first few months' pay packet, ended a 3 years+ long relationship, rekindled friendships, and had loads of fun/heartaches!

Of course, fun wins. Hands down.

2012 will only get better. Cause I'd be so busy doing everything, the year will pass fast again. Not hopefully, but definitely. Cause I'll make things happen!

Things to look forward to next year: europe trip in December after the boys ORD, complete Uni year 1, a change of job (TELL ME IF YOU'VE GOT OFFERS!), and I'd probably wanna go visit a snowy place if all else allows for it.

These last few days was mad. Found out that some boys have really comfy beds and cosy rooms. And they don't actually smell bad leh! Hahaha. And I can't drink for nuts. Memory loss begins after the phase whereby the world starts spinning faster than usual. And poof, next evening we're good to go again. If only every day could be like that! Movies, food, long rides, alcohol and sleepytime without giving a hoot about anything else in the whole world. Almost like perfect, just that reality seeped in and tmr there's work :( wish today never ended!

Surround yourself with truthful people! And you'll realise that life isn't a dream after all. You can talk about anything and everything without getting judged or settled as "fucked up". Normal people, I would say. Instead of constantly having to doubt what others say, you start to enjoy and really feel like you aren't fighting a war every day, and there are people who really care for you. Wipe your tears when you cry, tuck you into bed when you get bloody drunk, help you drink up when you can't seem to win in any games at all, and you feel really safe and comfortable with them around. What's up bro! Real gentlemen!

Suddenly remembered something. Someone told me to tell my mom, "hi mom, I haven't been home for 2 days cause I've been to 2 boys' houses and wore their clothes and slept over." I think my mom will flip and start calling me by my full name again. Hahahaha I actually don't really like it when people do that yo. If you really like my surname then call me Miss Ng lor. Acceptable.

So much love and happiness that I don't think I can ever finish writing. This is the last week of 2011, and I definitely think I am happy the way I am now! Maybe not the kind of "physically happy" like hugs kisses cuddles and XXX, but definitely I'm happier mentally! A year which I'd look back and say that I have stood up for myself and made me who I am.

Food for thought: 有了你，之前的爱只是练习。

Not you, but you

2011-12-28T14:44:00.001+08:00

Heard this today

2011-12-27T15:57:00.001+08:00

Heard this song today and after such long thoughts, I have figured out I want the best for myself. To pursue what will make me happy, instead of being caught in a web of constant struggle and sacrifice of my own happiness.

"Why" - Secondhand Serenade

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

Enough is enough, I tell myself every day. Don't put me through anymore of your lies and deceit, for I can't be bothered anymore. I'd still think about it, but it will only be "think". No more nonsense. Let's all move on and find someone who can love us as we are, and tolerate our shortcomings.

So much happiness

2011-12-27T04:01:00.001+08:00

I'm a sucker for all these. All these you're doing. I might just melt into a puddle of happy!

Mistletoe

2011-12-25T12:01:00.001+08:00

Say yes to changes in life, and embrace the new self.

My sister say I look like 宝珠姐，and I told her ya, I'm looking for my 达浪。大狼 also can la. Hahaha.

Merry Christmas sugar puffs! Because some people come to you life to teach you how to let go :)

Ps: hide all the mistletoes, because yours truly is having raging hormones. ;)

Favourite Girl

2011-12-24T12:11:00.001+08:00

Work's a drag w/o her! We go smoke breaks together like no one cares and lunch every day too! Idk how to describe but I'd definitely hate working if not for her :)

Too many times

2011-12-21T22:16:00.001+08:00

My dream date is to just cuddle and watch tv and relax and do absolutely nothing! But apparently no one understands that well enough. Yup!

It's okay because it's sooner or later we separate. I have given you all my trust one too many times. Today you admitted you lied again.

When can I finally deserve the truth?

Wee bit

2011-12-15T09:33:00.001+08:00

Sitting on "my" desk at the customer service office, listening to the buzzing of mini conversations every one else is having with the thing that rings (incessantly).

I can't be arsed enough to blog despite having so many things to say. Ciao!

Best people on earth

2011-11-29T21:52:00.001+08:00

Work hard, play harder.

Healing

2011-11-29T00:01:00.001+08:00

A wound inevitably itches when it's healing. A scab will form and skin start to dry up.

If your weakness is shown and you start scratching, not only does your wound expose. You will be left with a (deeper) scar to deal with. Capiche?

True story bro.

Hehe

2011-11-25T08:00:00.001+08:00

New lash, brows, and nickname for toto!

Life in a bitty

2011-11-23T10:34:00.001+08:00

Our difference

2011-11-21T01:11:00.001+08:00

Your life:
1) family
2) $
3) me / friends
(debatable: sometimes friends comes first, sometimes me)

My life:
1) you
2) you
3) you
....
100) you
(debatable: sometimes I love you, but the other times I hate myself for loving you)

I think that's why we will never understand each other?

Bluff bluff

2011-11-16T11:54:00.001+08:00

Bluff bluff sleep but actually cam whore. My colleagues labelled me 超级自恋狂 but I thought I was normal >_<

People I love

2011-11-10T13:40:00.001+08:00

Liars

2011-11-04T23:01:00.001+08:00

Liars, cheaters and people who makes you have high expectations just to disappoint you again.

FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE I DON'T NEED YOU

11:11 1/11/11

2011-11-03T16:01:00.001+08:00

I hopped on the band wagon!

Not happy

2011-11-02T12:25:00.001+08:00

At all.

Life hasn't been good to me.

Neopets

2011-11-01T10:09:00.001+08:00

Who doesn't have a past?

N O T D

2011-10-31T12:06:00.001+08:00

Ugly shatter. I don't like shatter siol :/

Happy halloweeny

2011-10-30T20:02:00.001+08:00

Feeling so fly

2011-10-28T11:11:00.001+08:00

You know your life is awesome when you wake up feeling so pretty. I think it's my eyes. They can smile! Can yours?

And … sometimes i feel like pouting when I walk cause I feel so purdy. If being beautiful is a crime, I'm a sinner. X

Game on!

2011-10-25T09:36:00.001+08:00

Anyone and everyone is invited to challenge me! Birzzle. Come on! Challenge already show me score. I pro!

Ego

2011-10-20T00:51:00.001+08:00

Hi guys! It's me again!

Today no pictures. Just my thoughts, my ego and me.

So, has anyone of you here actually felt that your ego is bigger than everything else you can think of? I hate to admit this, but I an really quite a handful when it comes to this big E.

To me, having an ego is more than just being proud of who you are. It's dignity and pride, and more than often, something that others can identify with you. Without ego, you're nothing more than mindless. With excessive of that, you can easily come off as a snob as well. So you may ask, where do we ever find the perfect balance? And my answer to that ------ never.

We are in a constant scavenge for self identity. Ego, being an essential and major part of it, make it an even more treacherous process. Besides that, I'm sure many of you guys have heard people around you talking about how they lose themselves while searching for themselves. Tricky huh?

For me, there is certainly things that are bigger than ego. (and being an obnoxiously egoistic person, this is something you won't hear me say. At least not so often.) okay, so here it goes: Heart.

Heart? Wtf is that?
This is really tricky.

Heart - where everything which matters remain. Because your brain will be the one keeping memories - some of it isn't really necessary, some of it …… yea you get my drift. Your heart. It's not controllable. Who do you love most? Who really does matter? Who are the ones who pops up randomly? Who …… are the people you are relating to as you read this?

Think about it, there are really many occasions whereby my ego overwhelmed what I really should prioritise.

And baby, you wouldn't hear this from me often cause I'm a really bad girlfriend. but no matter how much of a bitch I might be at times, you're always the only person whom I'd spare my thoughts for whenever I have decisions to make, no matter how minute it is. I might even deny my feelings for you, but you must know it isn't true. Because I will always love you :)

Always have, always will. Thank you for all the things you have done and haven't done. Love you just the way you are, and please know that I am never me without you. It's like sentosa without siloso beach and swimming pool without water.

Please get well soon :) <3

The best things in life

2011-10-18T22:47:00.001+08:00

Fluffy things and hot guys. But not when they are hot and fluffy at the same time. They should be uh uh uh clean.

He so unhappy

2011-10-17T14:47:00.001+08:00

:( see all the fake smiles!

Why so cute?

2011-10-16T22:21:00.001+08:00

SanX produces the most adorable characters (*☻-☻*) I wanna has a giant soft toy but nah, Nelson might be sad :(

Hehe

2011-09-28T21:14:00.001+08:00

I find this cute! Shall be my motto :p

The F1 weekend

2011-09-26T11:26:00.001+08:00

Bye bye grand prix :) see you next year or so!

Ps: celebrities DO look fat in real life :/

Pps: singaporeans look unusually stupid when they try to capture these race cars with their phone cameras. Yea I'm one of them. All I see is fast shadows zooming past!

Babygirl

2011-09-23T10:10:00.001+08:00

She's eating so much now :) happy! But it's weird. Cause only when Daddy buys her food she eats. I buy, she bo hew me. What?!?!

My horse

2011-09-22T09:00:00.001+08:00

I can slide to visit him, and he is always full of energy! So love.

Ed Westwick

2011-09-20T09:19:00.001+08:00

Cause Chuck Bass from gossip girl is always handsome, charming and irresistibly suave. His accent and everything just adds up to spell: s e x y. I love you, Chuck!

Cutesy

2011-09-19T14:37:00.001+08:00

Like princess!

Sharing the luv

2011-09-19T12:06:00.001+08:00

They love Mac spicy too!

Disturbed

2011-09-19T00:04:00.001+08:00

Eh why got people search my boyfriend name and come to my blog? Alex tan Rihan somemore. Siao Bo? Full name leh. A bit stalker ah. Somemore 2 times. Eh you careful a bit ah, I fierce one k. Disturb my boyfriend I slap you 3 times a second for consecutively 七七四十九天。don't play play and buzz off! He only loves me! (*☻-☻*)

Random photos

2011-09-16T23:01:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna blog. A lot!

14th September 2011

2011-09-15T09:35:00.001+08:00

This pretty much sums up my birthday :) thank you babies X

Happy birthday to me!

2011-09-14T00:33:00.001+08:00

Yay, finally 18 years and 24 months old! Yankee dood :) have fun everyone!

X

Trapped

2011-09-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

Everyone tried their best, and I'm the worst animal there is because although it seems as though you're telling me it's your fault, the fault is on me?

My mom think I sleep around with guys and keep warning me not to get pregnant.
When the fuck did I do that at all?
No trust, no faith, nothing like a feel a mother should be.
I know she cares, but seriously?
I'm quite sick of people telling me stuff like ya ya your mother sick, I know she sick la, but does that mean she can just verbally abuse me all the time?

Even if I'm a slut and I sleep around, so?

It's just stressful these days.

3 days to my birthday, oh wow! Happy birthday. I don't even see the big deal about it. I hate birthday cakes. I hate eating cakes. I don't like the fact that I've to be given that "Aiya her birthday what, big shit lor" feeling. Wtf? I never asked anyone to celebrate for me k. I am just like me. Irritating and doesn't deserve anything good out there. Maybe that's why I'd never get better in life as well.

When would I really matter? When would I have to stop crying and blogging over feeling upset (over reasons I can't even explain)? When can I stop hating to be alone? When can i stop feeling used? And finally, when can I feel like the most precious thing you have, something you want to defend and protect with all your life?

;(

Thoughts

2011-08-07T16:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, we expect people to understand unspoken words. Other times unspoken thoughts.
And the truth is, we will only wish it upon those whom we feel has the key to our hearts. Only they can freely access it. To make it or to break it.

In love, we should never do things thinking about how much returns we get. If you happen to think in this way, congratulations! Cause you have officially lost what is the essence of loving someone "unconditionally". When you expect returns, it cheapens love. It becomes something countable, something material, and eventually, something you do because there is a reason behind it. I give you something, you better give me back something kind of relationship = unhealthy.

When was the last time you showed your affection or intimacy to your loved ones? Physical intimacy and the endless flow of affection is what sets the special one apart from the other people. Can you smile to a stranger? Yes. So a smile to your loved one would mean nothing more than just a smile. Because any and everyone else could do the same too. Of course this has it's own limits and boundaries as well. The smile I mean is the casual kind of smile. Not the kind which you see after you did something special. If you get my drift.

"when was the last time you showed me your affection?"
"why must I show you that? Then when was the last time you showed me affection?"

This is a classic case of both parties expecting something out of each other but did not get it. That's why they got angry. The last tine I showed you affection? I called you after you came out from that god damned place and told you I love you, how much I wanna hug you, and made you promise you would hug/snuggle me. All I got was a cold "I love you too" and "I got to put down, they are here to fetch me already".

"who's that"
"just a friend"

That kind of hurts. But since it's the way we are, maybe it should remain like that. We are no different from passer by A or B. Albeit with more history.

And, get your friend to jump off the Cliff. Disgusting.

Inspiration @ 6 in the morn.

2011-07-28T06:38:00.001+08:00

Speech written for the graduating class of 2008, by Adrian Tan

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife. And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: Be Hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to Love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

(not my words, obviously. Full of wisdom that we often take for granted. Life is but a dream. I'm gonna try to live through this. I'm strong!)

Broken

2011-07-27T08:06:00.001+08:00

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Day 3 without you. I'm hurting harder than I ever did. I still love you ;(

Weight of the world on my shoulders yet I need to get things off my chest

2011-07-20T22:42:00.001+08:00

Feeling ultimately unhappy cause I am always short of money (seems like it) and I always return home late. Why do I have to wear myself out through and through just to keep myself alive (???????) sigh

Work sucks. Totally fucked. I can't even have the freedom to MAKE FRIENDS AT WORK!? what kind of a fucked up policy is this. Getting complained and scolded is like daily routine. Loaded with so much work I barely have time to breathe. Back dated things all owing and I can't can't can't relax at all. Go home still thinking about work. All I wish for is a stronger back, not a lighter load. I'm afraid before that happens I would have died. Of idk what.

It's easy to lemme love what I'm doing. Just don't be so unreasonable. I mean honestly. You don't have to assigned me the workload of 2 people and then expect me to complete everything at the same time no? I'm human too. Why doesn't anyone fucking understand.

I have needs like everyone else does. I want to have fun, I want to have enough sleep, I want to feel loved, I want to live life like everyday would be the last! I want to have a life. Right now I feel crippled. I can't go here, I can't go there, stuck with this job that no one fuxking understand me at all and I can't move on in life cause I want to study. I don't have a choice? So what is popular is that I'd suck it up and just stay put at this puddle of mess I created on my own and swim around till the lifeguard comes along.

Shit hole.

Wanna sleep thru life and not care about a thing. Slap.

Being 21st century sick kid

2011-06-18T11:23:00.001+08:00

Why I so weakling. Just taken my n-th blood test a moment ago. Apparently being subjected to huge needles and drawing tubes and tubes of blood samples isn't sad enough.

Left arm, tap tap. Veins found. Doctor poke. Poke poke. No veins. Doctor used needle to search for my vein by poking in and out *pain*. Okay no blood. Drew out needle, started bleeding -.-

Right arm. Dominant arm. Vein visible. Poke. Poke poke. Vein gone again. Used needle to search for veins again. Poke poke poke in and out T.T no blood. Drew out needle. No bleeding at all.

Doctor: "last resort. I got to take from your hands."
Me: " ??? What!?"
Doctor: "now clench your fist"
Me: "oh man that's gonna hurt :("
Doctor: "do you have trouble drawing blood?"
Me: "no. I used to donate blood"
Doctor: "that's weird"

Finally blood is drew from my hands. Like above the knuckles. Damn. After the needle is out, the bleeding didn't stop T.T

I'm sad :(

:(

2011-06-05T10:32:00.001+08:00

be careful of what you wish for.

:(

Scary monster

2011-06-02T14:54:00.001+08:00

I'm turning into someone whom I don't even know. I used to love to do nothing, sit around and start doing my nails and all. But now I snipped off all my nails, they're short. And I can't do nothing. I must have something to do. Read a book, study for something, think about something write eat drink call sms etc!

I'm scared. I hate the emptiness that creeps into me whenever I stop moving. Gross me.

snowman w legs

2011-05-29T10:58:00.000+08:00

my boyfriend says i look like a stick man.
but those w a fat body cause my legs are not as fat as my body.
and this is how i look.

Mehhh

2011-05-26T10:12:00.002+08:00

i like to be vulgar.
FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND

fuck you for saying untruthful stuff about me,
for being you
for breathing in the same air as me
for bao toh ing me all the time
for being such a bitch
FOR EVERY FUCKING THING

yeah dont pretend to hide.
you know who you are behind all these facade

:/

FW: T-ime

2011-05-22T02:53:00.001+08:00

Time. This big word has taken its toll on me recently. And be careful of what you wish for, cause it will really come true!

I cannot accept the fact that whenever you want me to, I have to. But when I want to, you'd have stupid excuses. I find it unfair and at the same time ridiculous. Yes, I should be asking what I can give instead of what I should be getting. But sorry to say, I'm human too. I'm not a saint. I understand you're not too, but have you thought of how I'd feel if the same things are done over and over and over again in the same fashion? I know things are bound to stop revolving. I know we'd be boring one day. I know we'd both *feel* that we no longer love each other someday. I know we'd eventually reach the day when each of our flaws are so magnified that the other party cannot stand it. I know all these will happen. But is it too soon?

We're not the best partners nor were we ever the worst. We're just average. One day. Just one day you'd get so tired of me asking more and more of you that you'll leave. Or maybe your prophecy of me leaving you will come true before that. No one knows.

Maybe we'd all be better without such thoughts. But all these are unavoidable. At least I feel so. You have your life to lead, and I have mine to. Maybe at certain points of time, we need to cool off from each other. To prevent quarrels. To take a break. To enjoy ourselves. To just be alone. Its so hard to be constantly entertaining myself and telling myself I'm not an idiot. All I want is some fun.

Work is stupid. Army is stupid. After work activities. Driving lessons. Family problems. Insensitive people. Expenses. Burdens.
I can face all these. I can shoulder all these. But its hard to do it alone. Having a degree is good, and having a career with a bright future is also good. But I cannot curl up to all these when I'm cold at night. Not that I can curl up to you as well, just that we barely even talk about things nowadays. I feel weird. I just feel weird.

When I wanna talk about event 1, you'd bring up event 2 that probably happen 50 years ago, and link it to event 3 which is gonna happen in a few moments, and then come to a conclusion that event 4 will follow up. But to me, event 2 & 3 is not important. You can say I'm myopic or narrow sighted, but all I want is to settle now before moving on.

To me its always about you. To you its always about me. We're both jaded in this marathon and the finishing line is nowhere to be seen. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

This isn't as bad as it sounds. Just feeling upset about things that happened today and recently. And no comforting shoulders when I need it. Goodnight world. I need to have the half of my whole. Lets all hope it'll appear soon. Xx

T-ime

2011-05-22T02:35:00.001+08:00

Wheeeeeeee

2011-05-17T23:39:00.001+08:00

Your vesak day, my HOLIDAY!!!!

So shiok, today went universal studio w @mamboxtreme :D Wheeeeeeee roller coaster so good. Its like the madness. Madness to the max!!

Today is fleeting. We rush here rush there and suddenly I'm here in my bed sleeping. Not really sleeping yet cause I can't sleep text. Anyway I'm a little delirious already. Hahaha.

For the first time in a long while we calculated what we spent. And without the entrance tickets, we spent 200+ in the theme park. Out of our minds!? But a lot of it goes to other people. Baby bought presents for his family and I bought present for him. Cause he didn't 舍得 to spend his money on himself -.-

I regret not buying some stuff. Like keychains. Hahaha dumb man, spend money on such stuff. But its really cute! Talk about characters w bobbing heads!! Weakness #1!!

Okay time to sleep w @mamboxtreme :)) to be continued :D

Enough of your shit

2011-05-13T00:27:00.000+08:00

Speaking of us like we're villains, telling the world how much we made you the odd one, incessantly ranting about how we're a let down to you.

Who the FUCK are you to speak of all the us like that? Seriously? Some things don't last forever. Especially when you set a deadline to it, and you do not exercise sincerity.

Acting like we're friends. I'd say, acting like I'm interested to be your cause I'm afraid to offend. Now I'd say fuck it. & fuck you. I'm tired of all these shit. Respect doesn't come from all the fear you instilled in us with your extremely possessive behavior. Yes, you should be totally wary of me.

I'm not perfect as people may think of me (cough). Okay just kidding.

Anyway, everyone isn't perfect. We can seek improvement, we get better, we get worse. Sometimes it isn't up to ourselves to judge who we are. You always say of others like they're "childish" and all, but have you realised that, if you're a really matured person, you wouldn't call someone else childish.
1) takes one to know one
2) a real matured person would understand/at least try to understand why this "childish" is behaving in such a manner and comprehend the whole situation in a higher level. And probably would not classify this as "childish". Maybe at most "young and inexperienced". How about "give her 3 more years, she will be a totally changed person". Hahaha!

I cannot be with people I'm constantly scared of. I'm willing to break all ties. Be it a 20 year friendship or a 2 week relationship. Fear doesn't work well on me. In fact, I'm more of the "carrot" than the "cane" kind of donkey. Stubborn I may be, but at least sense can be talked into me. My personal voice is strong, but I seldom let it cloud my judgement when there are greater things in mind. I will insist on my way of thinking to be heard, but I won't insist that I'm right. Unless its a topic I'm really passionate about. Actually I'm passionate about just everything. Okay I'm getting confused. Next topic.

I think you're not keen in maintaining the tie w me, cause
1) you don't show appreciation for the things I do. Eg: super a lot of $ and effort put into your event. And what did you do in return? Honestly I'm expecting more. Shan't say what you did :) its embarrassing to even bring it up.
2) you're jealous of me. Hate to sound snobbish but the fact is you are. When we're back there, you'd make use of me like I'm a piece of stepping stone. You thought I didn't know, but I'm a scary person. You. Would. Never. Know. Me.
You're jealous of how I'd always be better than you, even without trying. I'd be the apple of their eyes, I'd get random praises from others, I'd fit into prettier clothes. I don't know, all these comes naturally!

3) you're sore. You're like a giant but with a very sore wound on your tummy. And I'm the wound. The more you try to ignore me, the more I sting. I'm like water. No matter how hard you try to wrap me up in cloth, I'd find my way thru. I'm too volatile and clever for you. Why else would we be so similar in achievements?

*****,

I'm really tired. Time to sleep :) and I'm on leave tmr! Yay :D

Multimedia message

2011-05-11T22:34:00.001+08:00

So many things happening at the same time. All this noises whirl in my head all day.

Anyway, saw cousin at work. Not like a very close cousin, but like the "oh that's my very rich cousin" kind of cousin. I looked at him and he gave me the "am I sitting at the wrong place?" kind of look. Say what? So I walked away with shame.

Part of me wanna study, part of me wanna work. With my grades I'd have no problem getting my degree. Maybe even with honours. But the things is....... The most scary thing happened to me. I am falling in love with my job. I enjoy working and getting paid. I enjoy the "I don't have to work hard, I just have to boot lick hard" kind of life. In school you learn about textual things. At work you learn about how to be Human. Fuck the people who tells you about meritocracy. It does not exist in the private sector. Your qualifications can only get you to where you are - ie: your position/designation. What makes you climb and sets you apart from the rest is your EQ - social quotient. Without any signs of being a social animal, you can never gain approval from the "up" force and you'd remain as where your qualifications got you. And stay there. Not forever...Just till further notice.

Having good language capabilities can also help. When people talk shit in your face, talk shit back. But in the most subtle form. It can be putrid, just make sure no one understands. They're all kinda dumb *cross fingers*

I remember talking about elections. I try to talk sense into these opposition evangelists but came to a halt when my boss says he's pro opposition. Know when to stop, else you'd be stepping on the wrong time bomb :D

I'm lucky. I'm very lucky. I kind of always get things my way, and its gonna stay this way forever! I'm a great person and no one shall ruin me. I'm a rubba duckie! Try to drown me and I'd always come bobbing back up, and making irritable quacking noises at yer. Quack quack :p

Okay and guess what time is it! Its time for me to sleep.

/abruptly ends

Ps: I have this weird habit of asking questions with an exclamation mark!

father

2011-05-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

took care of us as though you were our father.
the country went into periods of great growth and prosperity under your lead.
your far sightedness, your selfless sacrifice, your love for us.

I cant blog anything emotional. cause it just doesnt make sense.

I just love how blessed i am, being able to study at such minimal fees, able to find a job easily and having compulsory savings into my CPF monthly. oh, and also a safe and secure neighbourhood.

all in all, its just everything. everything that you've put in place to ensure we all grow up to be gracious pillars of the country. i am thankful for all you've done.

I'd always be supporting the white angels.

Warm like sunshine

2011-05-01T03:54:00.000+08:00

I;m tired of hearing people rave about how awesome it is about winter and snow and all the cold ass weather. actually my favourite season is still summer/spring.

i love flowery prints and all these bright blossom w happy people sun tanning!

feeling so lively and energetic just by thinking about it :D

wo ai niiiiiiiii

:(

2011-04-27T22:14:00.001+08:00

Putting in hard work to do up proposals. Going out of my comfort zone. Turning down friends just so I can do OT. Doing research on things that I don't understand. Trying my best to avoid conflicts when possible. Absorbing negative things positively.

I tried so hard that I feel I'm trying too hard. But all I get is ...

"you stay back do OT also don't know what you doing. ... We all know you won't be staying for long ah, but also cannot anyhow do what? ... If you think your attitude is good, I have seen people way better than you. ... You always have nothing to do. No sense of urgency. ... "

I know I'm not the best. But I believe I'm not the worst either. Dear boss, you just put out all my desire to stay in Cycle. Even if I don't have the uni admission, I'd change company. I won't waste my time fighting for you anymore.

If what others out there are so good, then go ahead and employ them. What I can say is there are other people eagerly wanting to employ me but I've turned them down. BMW for 1800 per month. Just to name one that is close to our industry...

I feel like just sleeping and never waking up. I feel like just collapsing and not care about work.

The work stress is getting to me. I can't sleep well. I can't go out and let myself go 100%. I can't do anything without feeling like I'm not watched. I feel restricted. I feel everything I shouldn't be feeling as an employee. Whatever happened to "motivation" and "empowerment" and what shit we learnt in human resource management??

Sad.
X99.

I like

2011-04-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

Getting all of yer soon.

Wait fer meeeee!

Strike it off

2011-04-24T21:44:00.001+08:00

I love completing things off my to do list. Sometimes its hard to do so though. Like I wanna do some stuff, but I can't *just* do it. I need time, effort and probably some brains to do it... Nowadays I'm so lazy to use my brains. I feel like the neurons are only to be activated "in case of emergency" only. Hahahaha I need some NZT!

This week flew by quickly.

This month is probably the month that I watched the most number of movies on the big screen, and surprisingly none on the net. None at all. Not even gossip girl (come to think of it, its been long since I watch any dramas).

Watched
1) Rio
2) Hop
3) World Invasion - L.A.
4) Ha Zart (Thai comedy)
5) Arthur
6) Limitless

April is a very fast month! Songkran in bangkok, 2 long weekends, mundane work, annoying train rides (cramped like sardine every morning? Yay!), outings with Bb and so many more! And I still love my gel nails. Hahaha they didn't last, so I suppose gel doesn't stay on my nails. I'd stick to normal nails next time! Cheap and convenient.

Took so many photos with the Canon but I'm too lazy to upload. I think there's around 4 to 500 photos accumulated. Just uploaded some on fb this afternoon but that was last month's photos. Hahaha. Some really too shy to upload already! Cause all self portraits worthy enough for a "self worshipping session".

Went bangkok and I thought I bought a lot of clothes. But when I start to wear them I feel that actually its not that a lot. Just repeated. I actually buy dresses from the same shop, same design but different colours. Well and I got longer legs than body so they all turned out to be short. Have to wear leggings. So mafan.

Baby if you're reading this I wanna tell you that you're like a worm in my brain. I can't seem to not think about you for awhile. And sometimes this worm is very irritating. It distracts me from work, it makes me jittery, I can't concentrate or focus. It gives me a headache >:( but I love this worm :") it slowly eats up my brain but I'm allowing it to do so. It even gives me terribly scary nightmares at times (which are really vivid. Really) and it scares me just to know how much this worm is taking charge of my life in a way that I do not like it. I like to be my own leader and be so selfish I only care about my own feelings and not care about anything else. But I can't. At all. Every mental note I make has a little post it by the side, and my plan includes you without exceptions. All my plans I make. Its hard. Sometimes I would wanna just "heck care" and secretly do some things that you may not like. But this worm in my brain will start feeling sad and my guilt will start eating me up and I'd be too afraid to do anything against the right.
Sorry to make you feel as though you're restricted. I don't like you to *****, swear, shake your leg, lie (and even white lies), compare me or yourself with other people, telling me everything is okay, saying okay and yes all the time, and so many things. Sometimes you may wonder if I should be 'the one'. Maybe. But I feel that even if you might not think so, lets make this journey a fruitful one okay? I have a feeling.. :( I told you. But I'd have faith :)

I love you baby :) from the bottom my my heart and the worm in my brain! Muacks :)

*in a very troubled and confused state of mind* hmm :"(

My phone sucks

2011-04-20T23:03:00.001+08:00

70% functional but I have to harp on how there is even a 30% fail available.

And I didn't get to talk to ah lom sip today :( sad max I wanna pull out all my hair and roll and the floor and cry till your ceiling drops. Trust me, it isn't that hard.

Why oh why do you have to mess up my life! I hate you! You're just a tool and if your functionality fails, you're useless. And I will have to dump you. For a BB torch. (naize excuse)

Finally arsed to blog. Life's been so hectic! fell sick for 3 weeks w throat (or rather respiratory tract) infection, cough and flu. Got better, turned for the worse. Finishing up my 2nd course of anti biotics and 3 bottle of cough syrup and 6th pack of nose medicine. Madness!

Bangkok, shopping, yoga, OT, fretting over how cute puppies are, havaianas spree, drooling over people who turns on the heat w/o a heater (if yer get what I mean), looking at nail polish all day and feeling stupid for doing Gel nails (with glitter some more Wtf. Damn hard to remove), breathing life into him and enjoying myself.

I'm so drained!

And people, stop complaining k. Life moves on really fast. You either join/leave. Either way its 50/50. Be like the best or you die like the rest. I'm happy to be the best. Are you?

Ps: unknowingly work for 4 months already... Time flies!

DA da da DA DA!!!

2011-03-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

YouTube - 2 cute babies (twins) talking in baby language

DADAADADADADADA.

DA???

DA!!!!!

PARTY ROCK

2011-03-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

Everyday I'm shuffling~
(LOVE the gold robot!!!)

Today was fleeting

2011-03-18T01:03:00.001+08:00

Moments were painful, but it soon flew by.

Happy then its over again!

I got scolded for using my phone. Was kinda UNHAPPY.

1) It didn't affect my work

2) they THINK it'll affect my work because it happened to others

3) i am judged for mistakes that others commit

4) when we work, no one cares. when we stop, everyone stares.

In my mind I was asking myself,

WHY AM I FIGHTING A WAR

1) that is not worth fighting for at all

2) and when i totally dont want to?

but anyway i got over it fast enough la.

after work met Amelio and Huishi for dinner and shopping.

SO FUNNY

Idk how to describe this but you can try!!

Go start shouting in a shopping centre.

LIKE SRSLY. SHOUT.

just shout only.

and you'll laugh. hahahahaahahaa.

so we kept randomly shouting and making stupid jokes.

hahahahaha cant stop smiling as im typing this CAZ ITZ SO FLY

okay anyway its a random update.

NO pics, but do expect pics in the next post :)

ps: my probation is extended. SUCKS BIG TIME. work so hard no returns. le sigh.

Hit the replay! Jospeh Vincent on the loop!

2011-03-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

Introducing: Joseph Vincent

He's been on my youtube for as long as I'm online.

Okay I'd stay but dont have to gimme your life and heart k?

Too cute :)

LYRICS:

VERSE 1

I was standing on the other side

watching you leave and I,

couldn't see you go

Know that I was so sincere

when I said I need you here

cause this is your home

PRE-CHORUS

You're the one my everything

If you stay you'll make me sing

CHORUS

I'll give you my life

I'll give you my heart

and nothing will ever come between us,

ever come between us tonight

I'll show you the way, Just promise me that you'll

Promise me that you'll stay

VERSE 2

When you're with me I feel so alive

You're the bonnie to my clyde

We can paint the town

But you're so far (ohhh)

You're so far (woah ohhh)

And that can't even hold me down

PRE CHORUS

CHORUS

BRIDGE

And I know that our bond's so true

You are to me as I am to you

And I know that we can sustain

even though we ain't together

our love still remains

CHORUS

Feelings

2011-03-05T05:13:00.000+08:00

My fingers froze when I was deciding for a title for this entry.

I guess the word "Feelings" pretty well sums all of these up.

Returning to a place where I matured and grown so much over a span of 3 years, seeing people who changed so much, saying Hi (and Bye) for what seems like a hundred times within 5 minutes, tears of joy, tears of anguish, people looking for 2nd chances, people looking for their new chapters in life.

Life.

To those who are disappointed...

"Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road............you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine..."

- Katy Perry, Firework

We are all stars. But sometimes we fail to see it. And inadvertently we allow ourselves to sink into misery. There's no need for that, if you haven't realised so. For every plan A, there's always a plan B! Bear in mind!

Just so you need reference to the whole inspiring video (that I always refer to):

To those who did well...

From the bottom of my heart, CONGRATS! You've just shown the world how well we "people from the dumping ground" can do well. Okay not WE just YOU guys :) Be it that we were friends or fiends, I believe I had made my point clear that bygones are bygones. Even if you don't want to bury the hatchet, I would appreciate that childish comments stop.
Okay love ya, strawberry!

I made a big step today by speaking to someone whom we used to talk a lot. I missed her. It feels good to be able to dial her number by memory and say Hello, but it feels weird to not be physically beside her again when she's so near. Hello I know you'd read this. Some day... I suppose. I'm happy for you :) Really! You're so smart sometimes we all wonder what are you even doing here with the rest of us. All the best in your endeavors. Xx.

For myself...

I choose to believe I am very lucky. Just very very lucky. I'm not of top notch caliber, not am I the bottom few. But I'm truly happy with what I got :) So happy I had to tear a little. SO LONG SINCE I CRIED for a happy reason. Stress at work was crazy.

Working for someone = mad

Working for someone who do not appreciate you = mad mad

I'm turning 20 this year. I would say I'm still young. But already aged enough to be responsible. Mummy and Daddy raised me for 20 years, maybe I should raise them for their twilight years. 4 years in university = 24 years old! So jumpy just thinking about what the future holds.

I'd stick around with my current life, albeit looking for a better future. Who doesn't want to? So I mentally had mapped out my life in my head to 5 years later :) I'm prepared!!!

Welcome to a new chapter in life :)

Walk with me or be left behind!

Xx.

I hate it!

2011-02-14T22:01:00.001+08:00

"absolutely! Why're you putting up with all these?"

"quit it!"

"only losers quit. Why not hang around a little more and see how it goes?"

"I'm blamed for all the things I do :("

"stand up for what's right! You think you're right then you gotta fight!"

"you're a newbie. Everyone will bully you!!!"

"you're not someone who's suited for this job"

"you know you can do it! Don't be weak :)"

"Life's like that la... Suck it up"

"Life's not like that! I'm fucking underpaid and frankly speaking my pay is so much lower than all these girls who do the no brainer job."

"I deserve better"

"the grass is always greener on the other side. Why not cherish what you have"

"how can anything be less green than this :("

"one always think that they're in the worst case scenario until they've seen worse"

I need help. :"(
I hate being on the verge of tears every day! I'm not the kind of rash idiot who would come barking like a mad dog whenever something goes wrong. Neither am I the kind who would swallow everything and pray to God and wish everything is okay. That's fag.

Okay I've had enough. I'd ask for what I deserve. I'd be straight. Be strong!!

YouTube - Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)

2011-02-12T12:29:00.000+08:00

YouTube - Tonight (I'm Lovin' You): ""

Now who says he's only good at the Ping Pong Song?

It all doesn't matter

2011-02-09T12:59:00.001+08:00

Pro
Clever
Degree holder
Pretty face
50 years old
20 years old
Etc.

It all don't matter.
All it matters is that you're good at make up, you're willing to show what you have, willing to suck up, willing to be a slave,

Or better still: is the boss,

Then everything will be fine for you.

Or maybe at least they'd value you more. Cause you look better and they can draw up countless fantasies in their mind about you. Napkin, anyone?

Lets see. If you're a worker and you say the food sucks, they'd probably tell you this:"free food still want to say this say that, don't eat la!!"
But if you're the boss, and you say you can make better food, they'd probably tell you:"gosh, better get the fella who ordered the food here and tell him off! He's wasting the company's resources!"

So what happens here is that Mr/Miss Bootlick will try his best to get the boss more angry and get the boss to punish his colleague even if it means it is not beneficial to either of them. In fact, as long as his colleagues are trodden, he is safe.

Its the survival of the fittest, and not so much of meritocracy. So what if you're building merit by burning up your extra nights and juggling everything single handedly? As long as you've got 1 mistake, your merits are washed off. Clean and virtually dustless, that is.

Sick of fake people. Sometimes people wear a mask for so long, they forget who they really are beneath all those fluff. They lose themselves in the search of themselves. If you get my drift.

To me, of course I want to reach the top someday. I know I will. But the thing about that is I've to be in a rat race.

And the problems with rat races?
Even if you win, you're still a rat.

Crystal Jade Buffet~

2011-01-30T19:00:00.000+08:00

And cast of the day is

Mr Alex T

Miss Huishi N!!

Venue being Holland V, along Lor Liput.

Went to the pets store to grad stuff for our furry babies too :)

I love braids!

Spotted: Dutch Braid

(similar to french braid, but not.)

Bathing sand!

Any recommendations on GOOD BATHING SAND is highly welcomed!!

And before we could go in and enjoy our massive meal,

we were made to wait for like 20 mins.

DESPITE reservations.

so we snapped an awful lot of photos! :D

AND FINALLYYYYYYYYYY

time to eat :D

and we still must make orders and wait for the food

T_T

so tortuous.

And despite all the hot soup,

beef chicken pork

fish sotong and everything,

my MOST FAVOURITE thing is......

FRIED MAN TOU

for the love of all things yummy, plz grant me more little mantous.

can't get enough of them leh!!!

Food on my tongue :P

His sneeze could shudder the camera thus the blur shot.

MAN TOUUUUUUUUUU <3333333

Gimme more fried mantou and no one gets hurt, understand?

fried mantou =p

and for the finale, we ate some red bean jelly.

which really has bits of red bean!

evidence?

wait for it....

TEEEHEEE!

that's all! :)

soent around 45 for both of us,

and its not bad! really!

x.o.x.o,

Huishi ;)

If you're wondering...

2011-01-20T08:21:00.001+08:00

If you're thinking about what's up with my life now, I'd tell you!

1) getting my assets groped in the train every morning on public transport. If I'm lucky I won't get groped. But chances are few and far between.

2) working my ass off at work. I'm a n00b when it come to automotive. I've a lot of catching up to do!

3) prevent people from being jealous. I'm to outstanding that I've to be busy keeping myself down! Haha.

4) OT every day :) happy cause while you're drowning yourself in alcohol and nicotine, I'm living a normal life working and wasting my weekends away instead. Why? Boss sends me home every day and buys me dinner too! Why bother. Haha.

5) when get home after work, I've to watch a little bit of GG. Its a routine already! So smitten with Ed Westwick. Chuck <3!!

6) planning things with @mamboxtreme and making them happen!

7) falling in love with my hamster babies! :D pudding allows me to turn him over and tickle his chest and tummy already! Hehe. While Bazuin doesn't like shrimps as much. Alrightttttttt preferences change! Just like I don't like certain food that I used to eat too.

And other miscellaneous stuff! Actually I'm about to start work so do text me if you really miss me :) Hehe!

Bass Down Low

2011-01-08T11:57:00.001+08:00

Hooked up on this!

ALEX SEXPOSED

2011-01-07T13:30:00.000+08:00

Famous starblast Alex Tan Rihanna Franchessco has been seen in a heartland shopping mall, holding on to what seems like a pair of granny underpants.

Surrounded by mountains of lingerie, this big guy knows no restraints.

After which, he has also been spotted for posting a photo of his new henna.

oh wait up!

i thought henna is for girls?

well played Franchessco, well played~!

also spotted, Mr Tan gorging himself with food.

what happened to dieting Rihanna?

Blurish, but true.

***************************************************

From your favourite gossip girl

x.o.x.o

you know you love me.

MISB

2011-01-06T11:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really thank MISB for the memories :)

Being a student conductor, a section leader, an excellent trumpet player....

LOLLLLLLLL

okay i believe its a journey i would go through again even if i can choose.

And Keng Guan for being a nice senior too :)

always encouraging us...

pushing us forward...

when he graduate band becomes boring~~~

no more teasing of buddha and all..

haha!

and all the concerts!!!! :DDDD

I wanna be a BANDit forever!!

Burlesque

2011-01-05T12:53:00.041+08:00

Wonder what it is?

Burlesque is a humorous theatrical entertainment involving parody and sometimes grotesque exaggeration. In 20th century America, the form became associated with a variety show in which striptease is the chief attraction.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burlesque

And ....

Minimal costuming, often focusing on the female form.
Sexually suggestive dialogue, dance, plotlines and staging.
Quick-witted humor laced with puns, but lacking complexity.
Short routines or sketches with minimal plot cohesion across a show.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burlesque

Its a BOLD

and a very daring form of exhibition!

Some photos I found on google search images

I realised they dress in a very....

fishnet stockings
stiletto heels
featherish
striking red outfits
dramatic hair up do
smexxxiiiiiii

DITA VON TEESE.

I bet you heard of her havent you?!

She's a burlesque dancer! :D

Attracted?

For the first time :)

2011-01-03T12:14:00.000+08:00

Happened in 2009, whats seems like 2 years back already!

@ Zirca/Rebel

Baby, Me and Veron :D

Background: Alex and Raphael

Foreground: Huishi and Veron!

everybody!

FIND YOUR FACE!

Miss Goh! Hello!

Long time no see already :0

Pretty girls :)

Amelia, Veron and Nic!

*********************************

Feeling so fly like a G6 :)

MISB and Bazuin

2011-01-02T11:48:00.000+08:00

when I first got my hamster baby :)

Its given to me by my section juniors,

as a graduation gift :)

and of course, i'm not gonna drink it! haha :)

MISB girls :)

Ain super hyper LOL

this is supposed to be....

"everyone-pls-do-your-instrument-ambouchure" picture.

~~OBVIOUS FAIL.~~

And when ever band practice ends, it'll be evening/night time already.

and just FYI, the sunset from our school field is one of its kind!

sometimes you'd see pink, orange, yellow and purple clouds!

no joke :D

*********************

I am proud to be a trumpet player!

~~A good one at that!~~

Oops, and, a rusty one too :o

So much fun!

2011-01-01T11:43:00.000+08:00

I miss the girls!

Miss Boh, Miss Tay, Miss Goh and all the rest of 08B1!

@#$%^*&^%$#@!

Its less than a month. I know.

Mask madnesssssssssssss <33

treetop house!

my favourite!

happy Jane with loads of presents! :D

not-so-perfect shot of 08B1!

hahaha.

lookout for people not looking in the camera :D

<3333333

*************************************

hugs and kisses,

loves and misses.

happy 2011!

Routine

2010-12-28T14:16:00.001+08:00

Falling in the OL category.

Waking up early in the morn, feeling draggy all day.

Only waiting for the clock to strike 6 anytime soon.

LIFE.

(actually no, work's not that draggy. I love my job! :D)

Loving my bangs :)

2010-12-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

I prefer bangs cause its errrrr younger looking.

Truth be told, I'd rather look 15 than look 25.

(at my workplace everyone says i look matured. SAY WHUT)

Happiness

2010-12-27T02:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we depend our happiness on others.

Other times we create our own happiness.

It doesnt matter if we're low on energy level,

it doesnt matter if we're sleepy/lethargic.

it doesnt matter............

actually nothing matters.

The only thing that matter is the ability to light up everyone else's face.

And yours especially, R H Tan :)

I love you!

nothing really matters more than you do, xoxo

WABBITTTTTTTT

2010-12-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE

NOM NOM

NOMMMMMMMMMM

shhhhhhh.. she's sleeping!!

walau ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so cute

*********************************

seriously, i can go on forever.

WHYYYYYY they're so cute!

:3 :3 :3

nom nom pichoo toing toing I IZ WANNA CUDDLE A WABBIT :D

ps: never give animals as presents.

you'd never know if they are wanted in the first place.

or if they can be well taken care of.

100 questions!

2010-12-21T20:09:00.001+08:00

1. What color is your toothbrush?

Pink.

For the 5th toothbrush already, all my toothbrush had been Pink.

2. Name one person who made you smile today:

Baby

3. What were you doing at 8 AM this morning?

Sleeping.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Eating my dinner. Mom cooked CURRY

5. What is your favorite chocolate bar?

Hersheys chocolate in Cookies and Cream! I CAN EAT 100 OF EM'!

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?

Yes.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?

I'm demure. I don't speak loudly.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Rum & Raisin

9. What was the last thing you drank?

Redoxen!

10. Do you like your wallet?

YEAHHHH. But its falling apart :(

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Rice and curry.

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

Nope!

13. The last sporting event you watched?

Probably swimming or something. I don't fancy sports.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Classic sweet ones. Or caramel!

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

Baby

16. Ever go camping?

Yeah.

17. Do you take vitamins daily?

If I remember to, yes.

18. Do you go to church every week?

19. Do you have a tan?

Yeap. But my face is kinda fair as compared to my limbs.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

Kinda, have to depend on what kind of chinese food vs what kinda pizza.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

If there is a straw, I'd use it.

22. What did your last text message say?

Private. hahahaa.

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

IDK

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

The wall.

26. What color is your watch?

I have plenty of watches. Black, colourful, silver, gold etc.

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Qantas.

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Go in. I don't drive.

30. What is your favorite number?

No particular number actually. I'm uncomfortable with numbers.

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?

Baby

32. Any plans today?

Sleep?

33. How many states have you lived in?

One.

34. Biggest annoyance right now?

Idiots who OBVIOUSLY do not know how to be 'auto'.

35. Last song listened to?

Katy Perry - Firework

36.Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Yea, but not quickly.

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?

Yea. Ages ago.

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

I dont really like shoes. I prefer flip flops.

39. Are you jealous of anyone?

Yes.

40. Is anyone jealous of you?

ALL OF THEM hahahaa.

41. Do you love anyone?

I love everyone!

42. Do any of your friends have children?

Yea.

43. What do you usually do during the day?

Sleep. Breathe. Live. Be online.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

Not really. I don't waste brain space keeping people who aren't important.

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?

Totally. That's like my favourite word or something.

46. What color is your car?

If I'm having one, white. Then midnight blue. Then pastel yellow. I'm gonna have 3 cars. HAHAHA.

47. Do you like cats?

Kittens more.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?

Someone just keep running through my mind the whole day.

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Nope. :(

50. How did you get your worst scar?

Chicken POX

51. Are you anti-racist?

Not really. Not for racism either.

52. Explain your personality in 3 words.

I hate this question because I'm awesome beyond words.

53. What do you wish your name was?

Huh. Huishi la.

54. How old do you want to be when you get married?

26? 28? When i actually already established my career.

55. What do you want to name your kids?

The thought of marriage disgusts me. And I'm only 19. Don't ask me about kids.

56. What kind of hairstyle do you want?

Long hair with bangs. Thick of course.

57. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?

This morning.

58. What are you wearing right now?

Home clothes.

59. Say something random.

Banana squashed underneath the purple plum tree.

60. What do you wear to bed?

A smile and a rainbow.

61. What color is your underwear?

Pink.

62. Am I getting too personal?

No.

63. What’s your view on nihilism?

Okay.

nihilist - someone who rejects all theories of morality or religious belief
nihilist - anarchist: an advocate of anarchism
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I think its ??????????????

64. Pacifism?

the doctrine that all violence is unjustifiable

the belief that all international disputes can be settled by arbitration
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Agree.

65. Do you think the drug culture is misunderstood?

WTF Idk what's this!

66. Are you a fan of Hunter S Thompson?

Who the heck is he?

67. Do you read literature?

Sometimes.

68. Do you love horror movies?

Not really.

69. What’s your favourite one?

I dont fancy one. Period.

70. Do you like comedies?

Yes.

71. Are you a smoker?

I hate smokers. EW.

72. Do you smoke cigars/cigarillos?

Never had, never will.

73. Do you have anger problems?

Yes. I'm getting irritated at this quiz omg.

74. Do you know someone who has a mental illness?

No.

75. Have you had someone close to you die of cancer?

76. What do you want to be next Halloween?

Harry Potter.

77. What grade are you in?

Graduate.

78. When do you graduate?

A month ago.

79. Do you talk to yourself?

At times.

80. What color are your toenails?

Nude

81. Has anyone ever told you you have a nice smile?

Yeah. I get that a lot.

82. Nice eyes?

I get this a lot too.

83. Ever broken a bone?

Nope.

84. Got a black eye?

No. My eyebags bled before though. Scalded by a cigarette butt. Don't ask.

85. Nose bleed?

When I had my 40C fever sometime back.

86. Ever been so mad you cried?

Yes

87. What’s your favourite quote?

Too many.

88. Are you listening to anything right now?

Noises

89. What are you addicted to?

Shopping.

90. Do you like silver hair?

Like dumbledore's? Probably.

91. Would you ever fight a famous boxer?

Probably not.

92. Could you take on kimbo slice?

Wtf?

93.Can you even fist fight?

I think so?

94. Do you work out?

Obviously not.

95. Are you in good physical condition?

I'm weak.

96. Do you get creeped out by puppets?

Not really.

97. If you could be any celebrity by one day, who would you be?

Angelina Jolie.

98. Do you have any phobias?

Fear of rejection. Fear of loss.

99. Ever been mauled by a wild animal?

Don't think so.

100.Are you in love?

Truly, madly, deeply.

Lucky boy :)

2010-12-20T19:40:00.001+08:00

guess who am i?

i just had grooming and im sleepy :((

okay if i take photo you must sayang me :))

*poses*

like that sexy or not?

or this one more sexy?

cover my privates pls!!!

if my ear come up more sexy meh?

really??

*************************************

times when i'm bored i'd take tons and tons of photos with the pets.

they're so adorable leh!!

Somebody like you :)

2010-12-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

someone who'd drive all the way to holland V just to eat swensens

~~(as though there aren't any other outlets)~~

(even when he's sleepy maxxxxxx)

who thinks i'm cute

no matter what monkey face i make ;)

who'd make me smile tooooooo

sometimes by making funny faces :D

who has SHARP canines!

(canine teeth is what others normally refer to as "vampire teeth")

~~sorry ah baby.~~

~~but your eyes really very small leh~~

this one looks like this: -_-

nah now my eyes also small liao

-_-

:D:D:D

pig nose pig nose

<[^(oo)^]>

but your small eyes are kinda cute hahahaha

check out our eye bags!

heh

i can haz shiny eyes!

wink wink

and that night we brought our babygirl out too!!

yayness to bringing hammy out.

they love outings like we do okay!

Macdonald Trips :)

2010-12-18T11:57:00.002+08:00

If you want a highlight from my relationship,

i'd say all......

these random small trips :)

to macdonalds, to movies, to starbucks, to eat, ETCCCCCCCC.

this is my old fringe btw :)

i have bangs now :D

oieeeeeeee

dont fall asleeeep leh!!!

so hemsem :3

i think ~~i force him~~ to make a cute face...

or something.

hahahaa :)))

For the finale.........

WAIT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP

YAYYYYYYYYYY

filet o fish

ROCKS!!!!

:D :D :D